Do I blame Social Media?

Having Annabella at a young age, meant I had to put on hold all my plans and goals I had set for myself, but this also meant I had more time to spend with her, because I was a young mom, I was evidently more social and had more energy to do fun activities, I learned important lessons sooner than if I had to have had her later in life, I wanted to better myself, for her, I became less selfish about everything always being about me and spared all my time for my daughter. I was there for her always, to pick her up, teaching her right from wrong from an incredibly young age. I have high standards and morals for her, manners is a huge thing in our house, if we make mistakes, we learn from them. I am strict but I love harder, I have structure and I have rules, I allow play dates, I allow scheduled cell phone and television time.

It is a Thursday morning, cold and rainy outside, I sit down with a hot cup of coffee to start writing a draft, I have a few moments to spare, staring at a blank page, as I start to jot down ideas, I get a ping next to me on my cell phone, I have a look, an email from Annabella’s teacher regarding an urgent meeting. “Teacher Jane would like to meet with myself and my husband as this is an urgent matter”. Feeling the anxiety rise, that horrible knot in my stomach, sweaty hands, thinking to myself, “what has my child done!. Never being called into school before, this was a first for us.

In the middle of exams, one can only imagine the stress levels and thoughts running through my mind. Having a 7-month-old baby that is extremely demanding and accumulates all my time, trying to become a writer, running a full-time grocery store is no jest to just drop everything and attend an on-the-spot meeting. Obviously with this email shocking me. Myself and my husband had agreed to go and see teacher Jane.

The teacher sat us down and welcomed us to her beautifully coloured and decorated classroom, we sat down and her first sentence to us was “I am so sorry I have to call you in like this, but I cannot leave this till next term”. This is regarding Annabella’s behaviour aswel as her class work and exams.

Teacher had stated: “Annabella has an I don’t care attitude towards schoolwork and now during exam times, she doesn’t follow instructions, she does as she pleases, she doesn’t ask permission for anything.” Now in my home we care, we care about everything and everyone.

I am raising Annabella as a Christian, so my principles is all about caring, loving and being kind. From a young age I took Annabella to outreach programs in disadvantaged areas near to where we stayed, we attend church every Sunday. We always care, love, and bless others. Having the I do not care attitude is not a daily act in my home, from my husband nore I, we care a lot especially towards our children. Sitting in my chair, my legs are shaking, my hands all sweaty and I feel on fire I am so hot, I look over at my husband, I can see how frustrated and annoyed he is by what he is hearing, he does this thing with his lips when he is frustrated, so I just knew what he was feeling. The teacher proceeds to tell us how she is a leader of her group, and she initiates bad behaviour and gets the other girls in her group to perform the bad behaviour. I am blown away by what I have heard, and I cannot believe this is my daughter, something I have been trying to avoid for the past nine years. Am I to blame Annabella or am I to blame the social media apps I have allowed her to watch and be a part of.

As I really thought the meeting was coming to an end as it was almost an hour that had gone by, the teacher then tells us, “Your daughter is the ‘Kardashian’ of the school, labelled by her teachers and fellow school colleagues. Now, I ask myself the question, is this my fault? is it my fault for just allowing her to be on any platform thinking I could trust her, did I trust to easily, where had she learnt these activities, is it part of growing up in the 21st century where the internet is pretty much open to whatever you would like to search.

Is this my fault? I am constantly asking myself, where should I have drawn the line. Am I to soft when it comes to online games and social media apps?

I genuinely wanted to be that “Gilmore Girl mom” To have that perfect little girl, that loves to read and loves school and is not fazed with popularity or make up, fancy clothes or boys, I wanted to teach her from a young age that education is important, and life is not all about being the ‘popular one’. It is hard and can be so cruel and dangerous, she needs to know what is out there, I believe, learn from a young age and especially the world we live in today, is tough! There is a lot of competition and if you do not focus and learn from a young age, I am afraid things may be too late… but, am I late…… No, i am not too late. We are in control as their parents.

Likee is a short video creation and sharing app, like tiktok,likee users can share and comment on each others contents, likee is a free app and is has a 17+age restriction, to my knowledge I did not know this, and my 9 year old was posting videos on this app. Do we as parents, even though we have our own past and I am sure history of similar events, how do we control what our kids are watching that control and consume their minds into believing false hopes. (Links attached for reference)

Annabella has a personality full of colour, she is friendly and can make friends very easily. She is a very likable child and is really loved by so many. She is sporty and full of sparkle. With her long ash blond locks, she loves to dance and sing around the house. A little girl once so innocent, now consumed and confused by social media apps. Sadly, to her knowledge it is ok, because the big girls that she looks up to do these activities on social media apps.

After having our meeting with her teacher, I got a wakeup call and realised how open the internet is and us as parents need to protect our kids from these platforms, they are open and free and are so easily accessible, even with a protecting app.

I do not blame Annabella, I blame social media, as with Annabella I am sure there are other little girls caught up in this world of sexuality, popularity, which leads them feeling depressed and anxious, less satisfied with life, envy and being unhealthy.

https://www.familyzone.com/anz/families/blog/likee-what-parents-need-to-know

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8Yu-Jiripg

This is my very first story on medium, any critics are welcome, I am here to learn and become the best blogger/writer I possibly can. Any personal emails are welcome.

Look out for my next personal nonfiction story: A Testimony: How Jesus Changed My Life; he can do the same for you.

Thank you for taking your time to read my story.