Hospital bound and mental health.

Based on a true story

For months on end Natasha had been ill, in and out of doctors rooms, scan after scan, pipes in weird places. The frustration of not knowing what was wrong, was instantly making her depressed and the thoughts that clouded her mind.

First she was told that alcohol was the problem and her anxiety was very high, she was put on an anxiety pill to help her with the challenge. Every time she drank Natasha would get ill and end up in hospital, she stopped drinking a few years ago and hasn’t touched alcohol.

yet, the problem still accrued, not knowing what the f#*ck was going on.

For me personally writing this, I personally know a few people who have struggled from depression, and I’m sure many of you know, depression can come in all forms, big and small, it can hit hard all at once or it can creep in like a spider weaving his web. Depression is NOT the same as sadness, i say this because we all have bad days and feel extreme sadness, yet sadness and other unpleasant emotions do normally pass through the mind, where depression lingers for weeks, even years if not dealt with. You can not explain depression to someone whose has not had it but you can give them an idea, especially for someone who has not suffered from this mental illness, they just may not understand, and that’s okay, just likes its okay you have depression.

A person with depression is not sick and they do not need to be treated like a sick or ill person, what they need most is love, comfort, understanding that what they going through is going to be okay and there is a bright light at the end of that tunnel but the most important, is knowing one has support.

Support will be your cheerleader.

34 with two kids a 10 year old and a one year old, talk about a big distance. The work is a lot and yes there is stress but what house hold doesn’t come with stress.

Having both kids delivered by c-section, there is sometimes bound to be complications, more than one may expect.

After baba number two, Natasha had sever tissue and nerve damage on her right lower side. 6months after birth, there was still pain and movement was of the inevitable, this affecting her sex life, being active with her kids, moods all over the place, shouting and screaming and having no patience, having no active life as the pain became so intense during the day that by the end of the day she was flat on her back unable to move from the pain.

Trying really hard to be strong. She would go to the bathroom to release some tears and slap herself back into place to carry on with the day, running a home, a business and two kids was a full time job all on its own. And this was not a complain but merely getting herself through the day, with patience and being kind and calm.

Being tired was a norm, being depressed is not a norm but it’s ok and it’s understandable, especially when a human endures what she has had to endure the Last couple of not months but years.

This was not a reaccuring situation and depression and anxiety was first hole when Natasha ended in these positions. She new what would happen if she allowed herself to go there and she knew the impact it would have had and how bad it could or maybe would have been.

Trying so hard to keep herself strong and on top of everything with the kids and hubby and making sure the house was seen to, plus working on a project she’d been working on for awhile now.

She would find herself sitting on a chair inside, gazing into the long distance, trying to figure out what was wrong, ‘is there something wrong or is it just me, ‘what is happening’ she kept asking herself day in and day out, pretending everything is okay, in the evenings when she takes her shower, you could hear the tears rolling down her face as she falls to the shower floor, with her head in her palms crying out for help.

She could feel the depression smother her, yet she still trys to fight it along with a sickness she may have. Keeping her mind in tack to continue with her days and be the best mom and wife possible.

The night of October 16th 2020 Natasha had woken with immense cramps, vomiting with excruciating pain, getting up to go the the bathroom, her legs gave in and she fell to the ground, she cried out to Jack for help.

Jack jumped out of bed to get to her and helped her to the toilet, crying in pain she looks to him and say ‘why this again!’ she vomits and vomits and doesn’t stop.

Natasha is a stubborn lady and because she understands depression and anxiety and how they are linked, she keeps telling herself she is fine and everyone else, even when she knows she is not, yet she is this strong woman.

Jack called his mom in an emergenyto come watch the kids, Jack rushed her to the hospital emergency, still vomiting and in pain.

Jack jumps out his car, where he parked it in front of the emergency, ran into the hospital got a wheel chair and raced her inside and the nurses took over from Jack as he had to open a admissions file.

Natasha was in hospital for 1 week, herr she had hit rock bottom, and depression was very real at this point, however even with all the tears and the confusion of the situation, Natasha found herself okay.

Bloods after bloods, scans after scans, tunnels and pipes, all results came back positive, MRI crystal clear ‘a beautiful intelligent brain’ the complement made her feel more comfortable, just those words made her feel a little good about herself. ‘insides are clean and beautiful.’ The Dr says.

‘so what is the problem’ asked Natasha.

‘your body is definitely fighting a virus of some sort, I do not have a name for it, the only thing we can do is keep you on steroids and meds through a drip, you will be here for another two days. it will all be okay, you are healthy Natasha, and we will get you through this’ says Dr Kroon

Natasha starts to cry, as her tears flushed her face, ‘all of that, for this answer’ Natasha says to the Dr, ‘please don’t get me wrong, I am so happy and relieved and grateful it is nothing more serious.’

First person Natasha phones is Jack, to tell him the good news, however she will have to stay in hospital longer.

The support Natasha had over this period, was unbelieveable, regardless of her feelingings in the beggining where she thought she was completly alone and lots on her own, having to deal with this sickness alone, depression would creap in like a sythering snake, yet fighting it head on and accepting it.

Mental health is real and it comes in many forms, some people know how to handle it and then there are some that fall so hard, they have no idea, what had just happened.

There is nothing wrong with having a mental illness, depression or anxiety or any other form it may come in, because it can be dealt with. There are people that will listen to you, knowing them or not knowing them, if there is someone to listen, open that broken heart and let’s chat, the only way to fix any issues is to talk about it and get it out, it may not feel easy and it may feel like the hardest, is to open and talk about a geeling you are not sure about. Dealing with depression is no fun and I don’t want to think about anyone out there suffering with it. Do not think you are mad or crazy, you are not, you are like millions of people dealing and suffering with an emotion that’s unbearable.

Email: allthingsthroughchrist@gmail.com

Thank you for reading and I pray if you are one suffering with depression or anxiety that you have someone to talk to and its ok to not understand, everything will be and you will see the light. It may not be bright now but it’s.

Talking solves a problem.